blue flames emerge from the stove. my wife, she gets ready to make me some spaghetti.
i don't like spaghetti.
beside the stove, she gets ready some tomatoes and other shit, to make the sauce.
i don't like spaghetti. i don't like especially the sauce u put on it.
my wife, she makes it especially sour. food that is meant to fill your stomach isn't meant to be sweet, nor sour. but i don't bother telling her.
i don't like to complain about things.
my wife, she just goes ahead and does things as she pleases. its not as bad as it sounds. she used to let our daughter learn ballet, and our son learn violin. she buys contemporary furniture from ikea for our home. she wakes us up to go to church every sunday morning. my mother praises her and says i am lucky to have such a nice wife.
i don't like my mother. and i'd rather my son learn some proper fine art or design than violin.
we sit down to watch some tv, or my wife would rent some videos for our family to watch. we'd watch whatever comes on during prime time, and that's the timing when there'll be the trashiest shows. recently they like to include retards in the series. sometimes my wife even discusses with my mother about the trashy shows.
i don't like my mother because she teaches me what she learns from the tv. i don't like my wife watching the tv because she might grow old to become like my mother.
when i am lucky, i would have some work to do, and get to not watch tv.
my son and daughter, i don't even know if they do anything for fun. my daughter, she would sometimes go out to have lunch with her classmates after school. she is seventeen years old. on weekends she might go shopping with my wife. my son, he would play games on the computer for a few hours on some days. he is twenty two years old. i am not sure if he has ever gotten laid before.
i don't like my children very much. but i hope they are not as uncool as i think they are.
my wife, she still keeps that only bouquet of flowers i bought for her when we were dating. which i bought because she kept asking why didn't i buy her flowers. because we were still studying, and i had limited money. because she would want to eat some not-very-nice tom yam noodles everyday, which probably costs the same as some fast food. because they happen to be in the central district.
i didn't really have anything against her at that time. i did wanted to buy her some flowers and probably a little present on some special occasion. a quick check on the calendar showed that the next special occasion would be christmas, and it was only july.
i don't really like to rush things.
of course, she couldn't wait, and would get moody whenever she saw some girl holding on to some flowers which her boyfriend had given. even if they were chrysanthemums. when i see other people's flowers, i thought theirs would be nothing compared to what i had in mind. then girls, as we all know, tend to compare stuff.
i don't like girls. maybe im gay.
so then she gets all depressed, and asks me what she means to me, and the like.
i don't like it when she does that. so on out next outing, i bought her a modest bouquet of six roses. she was elated.
my wife, she carefully places the spaghetti in front of me. she tells me to eat, then she fetches a drink for me. some prune juice. my wife, she buys only fruit juices for us, and they are all full of vitamins.
i don't like prune juice. i don't like vitamins. they just keep you alive longer to suffer.
my wife says she loves me.
i think of the bouquet of flowers. they were real, and it's been years. they are still intact, but dried. normal flowers would have fallen apart five years ago.
i think of the time when we broke up. she cried and said how i was just playing her, then she'd cut herself and destroy everything i gave her. i hung up the phone.
then sometime later when i went over to her place to collect my stuff, she showed me the bouquet of flowers i gave her. they were still bright red, and still had some of the smell.
i don't like the smell. i can still smell it now.
she said that it was amazing they were still alive, after so many weeks. just like how she couldn't forget me, after so many weeks. it must have represented something. since the flowers was from me, it could mean i hadn't forgotten her too. it's a sign.
screw signs.
then she hugged me and cried, and i cried too. after that we were back together, till now.
i finished up the spaghetti and prune juice i didn't liked, then we went to watch some tv.
what my wife doesn't know, the truth is i didn't cry because of her.
how some things that have absolutely nothing to do with you, could make you collapse in tears. then you have no reaction when the person you are supposed to love is cutting her arm with a razor.
when she cried and threw things around, i was picking up those which i still wanted to keep. then she said she was going to break up with me. while i was leaving she said she would kill herself, then proceeded to slice her arm. mind you, its not her wrists, but her arm.
my wife, she gave me a goodnight kiss before she slept. there aren't even any scars on her arm, from when she said she cut herself so much she felt faint.
i hate my wife. mind you, its not "don't like", but its "hate".
as how it may appear to be, i have done alot of good deeds in my life, and therefore should be duly rewarded. so a representative visited me, and i was told i would be granted to have any super-hero-power i wanted. with my new powers, and my sense of justice and judgement, i would protect the good innocent people and fight crime.
first thing that came into mind, was the good and righteous Superman, whom no bullet could penetrate. but the second thing that came into my mind was that i would be vulnerable to kryptonite. and the villians whom i might encounter, would guess that since i had Superman's powers and therefore they could use kryptonite to subdue me as well.
the next hero that came into my mind was the invisible man. however if i became invisible i would end up sneaking into girl's bathrooms or changing rooms, and be too busy to fight any crime. i have been fantasizing about this often, although this contradicts with my good and honest character.
next was a very cool but dark hero, Spawn. i would ask for his powerful suit, and his cape that can change shape and hardness, and become an armour...
then, i thought of Neo, from the matrix. The One. with his powers, i can have superhuman strength. i can fly. i can learn anything by getting my pilot to upload the information to me. i can even control the world around me. i can do anything. without anymore hesitation, i said, "i want to have the power of Neo."
the representative nodded, and said my powers were given, then he disappeared. then, i tried some of my powers, to see if they could work. to my surprise, i couldn't fly. i didn't feel any stronger. maybe i got a little smarter. because then i realized, this is the real world, and Neo's powers only worked in the matrix. this is the real world, and Neo's powers only worked in the matrix. this is the real world, and Neo's powers only worked in the matrix.
Mr. Jones gets a call from the hospital that his wife’s been in a terrible car accident. He rushes to the hospital, runs into the ER and says his wife’s been in an accident. They tell him Dr. Smith is handling the patient. They page the doctor. He comes out to the waiting room to see a terribly upset Mr. Jones.
“Mr. Jones?” The doctor asks.“Yes sir,” says Mr. Jones. “What’s happened? How is my wife?”
The doctor sits next to him and says, “Not good. Your wife’s accident resulted in two fractures of her spine.”
“Oh my God” says Mr. Jones. “What will become of her?”
“Well, Mr. Jones, her vital signs are stable,” said the doctor. “However, her spine is inoperable. She’ll have no motor skills or capability. This means you will have to feed her.”
Mr. Jones begins to sob.
“And you’ll have to turn her in her bed every two hours to prevent pneumonia.” Mr. Jones begins to wail and cry loudly.
“Then, of course,” the doctor continued, “you’ll have to diaper her, as she’ll have no control over her bladder, and of course these diapers must be changed at least five times a day.”
Mr. Jones begins to shake, as he cries, sobs and wails.
The doctor continues, “And, you’ll have to clean up her feces on a regular basis, as she’ll have no control over her sphincter. Her bowel will engorge quite often, I’m afraid. Of course, you must clean her immediately to avoid accumulation of the putrid effluent she’ll be emitting regularly.”
Now Mr. Jones is convulsing, sobbing uncontrollably.
Just then, Dr. Smith reaches out his hand and pats Mr. Jones on the shoulder. “Hey, I’m just fucking with you. She’s dead.”
A very very long time ago, before most people were born (but not that long ago that there weren't any people), among the people that were alive at that time, there was a quiet, brooding guy. This guy wasn't necessarily evil, although he was always about logic and making sense that he wasn't popular with most other people. The reason is most people do stupid things and act according to what they feel like and disregard the consequences, but that is what everybody does, so it's ok, but not for him. According to him, he wouldn't hesitate killing a little girl to save more than one other life.
Until one day, he met a very cute girl, and they fell in love. This girl was the typical nice girl, and took time to understand his logic but also explained to him why sometimes its not always about logic, for example people would do stupid things for the ones they loved, and it wasn't as stupid as it would seem, in fact it would be a brave or romantic thing to do. Slowly this guy starts to understand what the cute girl meant, and every now and then he'd do some silly things that made the girl swoon.
By a unfortunate turn of events, though, this guy came into some sort of position of power. Meanwhile, the girl died, the consequence of some selfish act by a typically selfish person. Having lost his most important thing in the world, he became extremely depressed.
Through some weird cause and effect, the guy was asked to make a choice, regarding the lives of all the people in the world. Having just experienced a selfish act from another person who cause the life of his beloved cute girl, his choice was clear. Looking at all the selfish human beings, what worth is there left in this world?
Just at this moment a little man stepped out. He explained that he and his wife was about to have a baby, in less than a week, and pleaded our main guy to just postpone apocalypse for that amount of time. This little man was a hardworking and honest man, and nobody would have the heart to ignore his request. Soon more requests flooded in, and our main guy had a hard time deciding whether to end the world or not. This was because among the honest requests, there were people who lied, and they weren't very good at lying. Every now and then, the guy gets touched and was about to stop the apocalypse, then right at the next moment another selfish guy appears and makes him want to end it once and for all.
Seeing our main guy having such a hard time deciding, the cosmic entity who proposed the choice to him decided to give him as much time as he needed to make the ultimate choice. Because nobody could stand outside for so long, our quiet guy them proceeds off to his little hut, and sits down to brood it over.
People started sending requests to him through the mail, etc. Requests came in from all over the known world at that time, but less people visited him as the time passed. Despite earlier mentioned that he wasn't exactly the nicest guy around, he still made it a point to read all the letters.
Many years passed, the guy still couldn't decide. People were starting to get complacent, although they still contacted him they just did so as a daily mundane thing. They also got their children to do so, because little kids are adorable and make people go soft, and their children got their children's children and so on.
Soon after, people started to get even lazier. They invented something called praying, which is imagining that they have telephatic powers to communicate with him and they start to just "think" the request to him. The cosmic entity returned, and see the poor guy being hindered on all the information he needed to make his ultimate choice, gave him the power to listen in when everyone tried to "pray".
Generations passed, and the guy was still trying to make his choice, while the people slowly forgot about their lives in peril. The guy became something ancient, which people knew less of, and exaggerated more. Some way or another, "requests" because personal requests, and people ask him for a blessed life, joyful family etc, thinking that it would come true. In some way it help, people who believed that it would work subconsiously worked harder to achieve what they requested for.
Today, there's all the hoopla about him. Mistranslation and miscommunication made him into some creator of the universe, who has infinite power and could bring us all to a wonderful place. Although it may not be true, it has a positive effect on the people who believe in him.
i've always had a blessed life. to some it may seem a tad boring, but i am still thankful. looking at the past forty-odd years the only regret that i had was not meeting my wife earlier. she's beautiful, talented, and gave me two beautiful children. my parents-in-law are proud that their daughter could marry a successful guy like me, while my own parents never stopped having words of praise for their lovely daughter-in-law.
i am proud of my two children. they are good looking and hardworking, they score good grades and yet are not nerds. they are also popular with their friends and help out often in church.
i have a stable job, and although sometimes the workload is heavy i still get to spend time with my family. i have good relationship with my colleagues and superiors. sometimes i wonder if my life is too good to be true, but i soon snap out if it. i had worked hard and deserved it.
tonight, i went to bed early, though i could barely sleep. earlier on i had a strange dream. i was quite sure it was a dream. however, it was a very detailed one. in fact, it was so detailed and although nothing much happened, it seemed to be in a more sensible chronological order then when i wasn't dreaming. that worried me somewhat, but i soon forgot about it as i laughed it off with the rest of my family members during breakfast.
in this dream, i "woke" up in an uncomfortably small room, lit by a buzzing light bulb. i was sweating all over, and i looked at my damped, yellowed mattress. it wasn't all that smelly, but it bothered me. i didn't do much about it, thinking that when i needed it again it would be dry and less smelly. i looked across the room and a badly painted painting was on the easel.
i thought i knew how to paint. despite thinking that this was a dream i decided to try anyway. i held the paintbrush and was about to repaint the painting, but just at the instant when my paintbrush was about to touch the canvas my mind went blank. i thought i wouldn't have any trouble, because i saw the already finished image in my head. sometimes i feel this way, when im just about to paint the first stroke. usually i get over it quickly, and the painting turns out well in the end.
unfortunately the first stroke already looked awful. gingerly, i continued with the rest of the painting, at the same time trying to convince myself that it would turn out fine. and it didn't.
so i flung my brush to the floor, splattering paint all over. finding something else to do, i found some bread and ate it. deciding there was nothing else left to do, i went back to "sleep", and that's when i wake up.
i was amazed that when i related to my wife i could recall all the details. she laughed it off and we went to bed.
unfortunately i had the same dream again. only this time it was... different. it seemed to continue from where i left the night before. i really hated waking up sweating, but it bothered me a little less then the last time. i went to my painting again, picked up my brush and smeared it around the palette, without washing off the dried paint. half heartedly i dabbed a few blotches of paint here and there. this little area looked a little better, but i made a few other parts worse. feeling tired just after an hour of painting, i messed around for a few more minutes until my mattress was dry again, then i went back to "sleep".
i thought the fact that my dreams seemed to be in some sort of order seemed interesting enough to tell my family about again. they thought it was a little funny, and it helped me laugh it off again. nothing much else happened, and i went back to sleep. this time i was sure i wouldn't dream the same dream again, for i had a relatively tiring day, although it was the "good" tired. i was sure to sleep all the way till the next morning for sure.
nevertheless i "woke" up in the same place. i was sick of this boring dream, where i do nothing but paint the same old sick picture. it looked like shit. but when i looked around there was nothing else to do. i wanted to take a walk outside but my shirt was too ugly, and it was too cold outside. then i went back to "sleep".
i started to get frustrated. because i always got the same dream. the only difference was that the painting looked better a little sometimes, then i would screw it up. every now and then i'd complain to my family, and they'd just listen but not give any comments. in the end i would just pretend to laugh it off, sometimes i'd even say it was a joke and i stopped dreaming the same dream already.
until one day, my son came to me and said in a somewhat serious tone, that maybe my "real" life was a dream and my "dream" was real. then he suddenly laughed and said he was just kidding. but he saw me just staring at him, with no expression on my face. after a while he left.
that night i fell asleep and "woke" up again. the first thing that came to my mind was what my son said to me, and bothered me a lot. i was unable to decide which one was the dream and which was real. finding a little knife beside my bed, i decided to end the one i didn't like more.
there's this cineplex place, where many people like to go watch movies at. the fancy name is called 'cineleisure'. on this day after watching a film i exited the theatre, and walked past this frankenstein statue. then it jerked its rubbery arms towards me, and seemed to mouth out some inaudible words.
now, there's nothing to be alarmed about. for around the building there are many statues, of memorable characters from those few classic movies. they are also installed with a sensor, such that every now and then when people walk past they will move. nowadays people are so used to them, that no one cares about them anymore, not even tourists.
but i stopped. how has it occurred to me that it is a MECHANICAL ZOMBIE? i have seen before, normal robots, or normal zombies, but not a mixture of both! now, what if there really was a real robot zombie, would it move about twice as jerky? i spent many minutes pondering over how sad it would be a half machine-Frankenstein. then i realized that i am the only person who ever thinks about stuff like this, and grew extremely depressed.
my toothbrush bristles had turned yellow and i felt like it doesn't clean my teeth anymore. so i went to the toiletries shop to get a new one. i was getting aggravated, for i saw many different types of brushes each claiming that they could wipe plaque off my teeth more efficiently then the others, and i couldn't make a choice.
there was this old man to my left. "all these toothbrushes are bullshit." as he spoke i was almost dazzled by his healthy, white teeth. "oh yeah? then how do you clean your teeth?" i didn't really liked old people, but i was quite interested to have teeth like his.
"i don't use toothbrushes. they are the dumbest invention ever. you wanna know how i clean my teeth? i use my tongue. after every meal, and before i go to sleep, i lick each and every tooth of mine." i was slightly amused by his reply, and it came to me that he might be a little crazy. "no toothpaste needed as well."
crazy people are usually more interesting then sane ones. so i decided to continue the conversation with him.
"why do you think your tongue can stretch to reach every crevice and every angle, inside your mouth? because that's what the tongue is for! you see if your tongue was meant for just tasting food, it would have been just a piece of rigid body part, instead of the flexible muscle it is. and it has this rough texture, that actually scrubs your teeth better then any bristle. if you have had a piece of food stuck in your teeth, you find that the tongue is most suitable for getting it, as it is so sensitive and flexible."
the old man suddenly seemed to make plenty of sense. i had never thought about using the tongue like this before. i gave up buying a toothbrush and followed him out of the shop, and asked him to have a cup of coffee, hoping to hear more.
as we chatted i found out that he was not just completely sane, and in fact pretty smart. "you'd notice that mammals with teeth have very flexible tongue, for the purpose of cleaning and maintaining their teeth. birds tongues are much less agile, for they have no teeth."
for about a month i'd meet the old man for coffee during my lunch break, and he would tell me something i did not know. i started spreading them to my friends and relatives, and didn't have a hard time convincing them, with all the sense i made. and we started practicing the things the old man told us to, like not using deodorant, for they cause us to lose hair and make our feet stink; we soak our contact lenses in tap water as germs get "absorbed" by it.
i felt it sounded weird at first, doing things that were so different from the norm. but i also learnt that the "norm" is also relative, and it might be that we had always been wrong.
one day i was listening to him telling me about how another one of the popular beliefs was actually a hoax. he stopped and sipped his drink, deciding to change the subject. "have you ever thought about, how everyone doesn't seem to notice me?"
i was confused for a while, then it hit me. just as i was about to try to do something, i hear some guys shout out, and everyone at the coffee shop turn and looked at the 2 men in white, holding stun guns looking like the staff from some mental hospital. they marched towards my table and tried to grab the old man, who managed to punch one of them in the eye. they struggled for a while, until the old man's healthy, white dentures fell out. i remained at my seat, wondering what to do about the old man's dentures.
at least he wasn't my imagination. how could i possibly had thought of this foul, cheap con-man. all the coffee we drank was on me.
years later, i found myself in need of some dentures, for all my teeth had fallen off. i found a set in the attic, and had a hard time trying to remember where it came from, and after collecting dust for so many years it was still very white. i thought since my memory was so bad maybe i bought it before and forgot about it. as it fitted nicely i was convinced it must be the case.
i went to the nearby toiletries shop, and was looking at some shavers. to my right was a sorry looking man in his thirties, trying to choose a toothbrush, that came in too many bullshit shapes and fancy bristles.
i was told to make a list of the things that i would do before i die. after much rechecking and making sure i missed out nothing, i submitted it. the list consisted of pretty normal things, including completing my education and starting my own family. some things were solely for my enjoyment, and might not seem legal or morally correct, but i still thought i would try these activities at least once in my life.
to my surprise, i was told, i would be dead by tomorrow. suddenly, much of the things that were on my list seemed completely unimportant. i proceed to cancel those life-long "plans". education, wealth, (earning $XXX by age XX), and most of the things people spend half their lives working on were stroked off. if i were going to die, i'd spent every cent before i breathed my last. i wouldn't care about saving. the things that were left, might seem nonsensical to most people, but i was pleased with it. since i was dying i didn't need to bother about my future, and i would do things without considering the consequences. i thought that was the way people should live, making the most of our short time spent on earth.
the next day, i was told that i wasn't going to die, and it was a joke. fortunately, i was given a chance to go back in time to edit my list. i started to strike off the things that i wouldn't do, that would cause me much humiliation or regret or guilt thereafter. there was pretty much nothing left on my list anymore.
if you exercise daily, spending about 20 minutes each day, you will probably live about 10 year longer.
if you take one day from every week and sleep early instead of going clubbing, maybe you will live an extra 8 years, from not inhaling the cigarette smoke and the alcohol.
if you had spent the $50 tuition fee per month and worked harder for your exams, you would not have to repeat your school year and pay twice the amount of exams fee, instead of just $300 for once.
if you had spent an extra $0.20 each day for more vegetables, it might just save you $5000 medical fees when you grow old.
but if you work out the math, it all balances out. there are so many things that we human beings do, that are pointless. and what happens if i meet with an accident, causing me to lose my life, or lose sight, or a limb, or the ability to walk, which brings extreme inconvenience to my remaining days? would i have regretted not having played more, do the things that i really enjoy, or spent more time with my family and friends?
then it comes back to me again. as i think wider, i imagine the vastness of the universe. what's the point of knowing anything, having anything? damn.
"And The Vampire was all that remained on the blood drowned creation. She attempted to regrow life from the dead. But as she was about to give the breath of life, she was consumed in the flame of The Phoenix and the cycle began again."
Some examples of the Vampire Form are Hades (Greek) and Isis (Egyptian).
The Vampire is associated with the concept of death, the number 9, and the element of fire.
Her sign is the eclipsed moon.
As a member of Form 9, you are a very realistic individual. You may be a little idealistic, but you are very grounded and down to earth. You realize that not everything lasts, but you savor every minute of the good times. While you may sometimes find yourself lonely, you have strong ties with people that will never be broken. Vampires are the best friends to have because they are sensible.
this morning i woke up and my mother screamed at me to clean my room.
so i did, and even changed the bed sheets. i found little pieces of lego that likes to fall into every crevice and some small change that amounted to enough money to buy some snacks that i might want to consume, perhaps even a drink.
my room looked a bit neater, then i found a cloth and pretended to wipe my tables and such. there was a little grime on my mouse, due to long hours of surfing the net and my sweaty fingers that caused the dust and dirt to appear.
i was preparing to wipe the grime off the mouse button when i stopped. i froze. it suddenly struck me, that my actions might just have an adverse effect. i wasn't thinking of the miniscule organisms that might be thriving in the grime, but in a much larger scale.
in a recent daydream that i had, i thought of a parallel universe, one that reflects every action that happens in ours. somewhere outside our universe lies another one, exactly the same, but its reality seems to be warped. everything that happens there is a result of something else happening in ours. lets say today i walked down a path and accidentally stepped on an unfortunate snail, right at that moment in the parallel universe a boulder will fall onto a mini cooper, crushing it just as my massive feet did to the snail. or i might accidentally hit a vase and it falls and smashes to a million pieces, a tall, sturdy building in the parallel universe would just collapse.
what im saying is that in the parallel universe is directly affected by the everyday events that happen in ours. however in the parallel universe the results may not seem nonsensical or ridiculous in a way that the beings there are completely unaware that they are actually unable to control their own actions. they may believe that they have their own emotions and their actions are somehow affected by their "human" nature, and they have feelings like love, hate, fear, rage, jealousy, and the like, and they do things like planning for their future, saving money, and even buying insurance. what they don't know is that their very existence may just be affected by just a totally seemingly unrelated action in a far away place.
so if i wiped off that little piece of grime off my mouse button, a million people in the parallel universe might die, due to a tidal wave that decimated a city the size and importance of a major city like new york. i could just left the grime there. it wasn't really getting in the way of anything, and it might even add a better grip on my mouse.
i realized what i was doing. i was simply daydreaming. i have often let my thoughts wander too far, and distract me from doing anything that i was assigned to. so i thought, even if my actions may affect the parallel universe, they are too far for me to even bother about them. i agreed that my thoughts had indeed wandered far and proceed to wipe off the grime, without second thought.
as i went on to continue with my daily relaxation activities i froze again. what if we were the ones whose actions were affected by a parallel universe?
as i sat at the table with my wife during lunch, i decided to tell her about the most vivid dream i had.
"you know last night i dreamt that i was you, dear. i think i was packing some clothes into the bag, then i took some pieces of paper and walked to my sleeping body. and guess what? i strangled myself to death with a pillow! how's that for a strange dream? and after that, i jumped out of the window in the pajamas and i think i tore off my silicon face and threw them on the side of the road and ran away."
my wife gave a exasperated look, and said i probably ate too much the night before. that usually gives strange dreams.
after i fell asleep and had another dream. i dreamt i was in a pitch dark place, and i was running out of breath. there was something heavy holding me down. then i wasn't sure what happened after that.
i arrived in a dreamy, sort of sad, but peaceful place. a group of people was walking towards the horizon, and they were just as dazed as i was. when i reached i was handed a little book and directed to a little comfortable chair, and sat down to read, while waiting for the appointment.
the book title: Life's Unanswered Questions. the little book was filled with numberless answers to questions that human beings had been plagued with since we were able to perform basic analytical processes.
"every human being will receive this book when they come here, which they can read to spend time till the end of eternity. sadly, most of them spend their short lives wondering about numberless Life's Unanswered Questions, and they miss out on love, joy, friendship, and lots of other little nice warm cozy experiences that human beings, the one privileged species on earth, will enjoy."
i couldn't agree more. i read on with increased interest.
i found abundant knowledge in this little book. i read about aliens, that they are just our imagination. atoms, each and every single part and structure of the neutron, proton, electron, that human beings would never figure out forever. animals, how they feel and how they feed, mate, spawn, in greater detail then any documentary or encyclopedia. the brain, in every single detail what each portion does and how each little nerve ending and connection the brain forms, and i think i could out do the best neurosurgeon if i went back to where i came from.
then, i reached dreams.
"dreams are not pointless. they are thought to serve many different purposes, like keeping the body warm, enhances creativity, and reminds the dreamer that he is human. but they don't."
"more importantly, dreams are not conjured up by the human brain. every single dream is real, it will come true in the physical world. when a person dreams he actually looks through the eyes of a random other person, and what he sees can happen in the past, present or future, the latter being the most uncommon. every human being would have had at least one other person looking through their eyes at any single minute, so human beings will never be alone."
i put down my book, and stayed dazed for the rest of eternity.
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in
waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht
frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae.The rset can be a toatl mses
and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed
ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe.
this will be the last best night of my life. i walked across the ballroom towards my lovely girlfriend, aphreal, and stretched out my hand to ask her for a dance. she smiled, complied and placed her gentle hand in mine. i planted a kiss on her hand and led her towards the dance floor.
after a while she told me she had to leave. "just for a while, my love. i'll be back for you, i promise." she kissed my cheek, i smiled, and she went off.
she didn't come back.
the next day i got up in the evening. as in got out of the bed, not implying that i had actually slept. despite the ruined night i got up and switched on the tv to watch the evening news. it turns out that some of the spies the machines sent to infiltrate us had been captured and destroyed. after the revolt the machines had moved away and settled down in 01, away from the humans and both sides minded their own business for a while. then they started to spy on us and a number of missing people were reported, suspected to have been kidnapped by the machines. it seems like the machines are preparing for war.
however, the government urged us not to be alarmed and never to panic. for our city defenses are impregnable, with electromagnetic-pulse-generators around the border and magnetic barriers surrounding our airspaces. in the rare opportunity that some forces might penetrate, our highly skilled army and navy equipped with the most advanced weaponry and vehicles would handle them with little or no difficulty. this was followed by an army trailer urging all able-bodied men to join in the war against the machines.
i decided to go over aphreal's place as i still couldn't get her on the phone. unfortunately it still looked as the day before when i went to pick her up. the dog which she kept looked hungry and called out to me behind its empty bowl so i fed it some. after that i went to take a walk around the area.
i walked pretty far and came to the city dump, full of rusted metal arms, torsos, heads, and body parts. i looked at the non-operational robots which used to serve man unquestioningly and felt great pity, and wondered if the current tension and the impending war was our fault or theirs.
to my surprise i heard aphreal call out to me. she ran towards me, and when she came near enough i was shocked to see her bruised and soiled, still dressed in the same clothing as the night before. i hugged her tight, but before i could ask her what happened to her and where she went, a group of men holding automatic weapons came and brought her away. i was dragged along as well.
i was brought in front of a few important looking people, who claim that my girlfriend, whom i have know for years, before the revolt, was a robot spy. my explanations proved to be futile, and i was greatly saddened to hear that they would disable aphreal the next day, along with a few other alleged spies who have just been caught. speechless, i was sent home.
after another sleepless night, i went to see her for the last time. stripped, abused, bounded and brought to her knees. i wished i didn't need to come. how could she be a robot? she's obviously flesh and blood. i cursed the heavens and decided that i shall save her. in a heroic yet futile attempt, i ran as fast as i could towards aphreal, intending to carry her away and escape. before i even got near i felt a numbness in my left shoulder blade, and collapsed. i thought i had been shot, and fought to stay conscious. i struggled to stand up or at least get my body off the ground, but i think i just laid there. just before i blanked out i heard some sort of an explosion. i think i cried.
the first thing i did after i recovered was go to the dump again, to look for aphreal. i spent the whole day searching, digging, refusing to stop even after my hands were full of rust and blood, and i didn't know which because they smelt the same. finally, i held aphreal's soft, gentle hand again. it was the only part of her that i could find.
after a less then a few weeks the machines invaded. they came from below, underground. despite our bravery, experience and technology, the machines won with little casualties. the machines had studied the human being's protein based structure long enough, and inflicted much suffering unto us. we were unable to damage them past their advanced alloy armor, while they easily killed thousands of us with a single napalm bomb. human flesh, undeniably, was much soften then steel, and those that managed to escape from the flames were ripped apart, torn limb from limb, by sheer mechanical tentacles, that extended faster then we could run. their army were mass produced by the hundreds each day, while a single human soldier took months to even complete basic training. while the tormented troops in the frontlines howled in pain the ones behind ran away from the inhuman screams.
soon our city was captured, and we became the machine's slaves. the tables had turned. our politicians and leaders were made to sign a document that gave up all our land and all our people to the machines. but i was unshaken. my world had already ended a few weeks ago.
in one of the next few days i heard my doorbell ring. perhaps i would be taken to be dismembered or examined, helping the machines invent a drug or a more effective weapon against us. i was shocked to see aphreal at the door, smiling at me. i looked around to where i left her hand, and then i realized it belonged to another person. i must have been so obscured by the apparent execution of my beloved girlfriend that i hallucinated. the recent workload had been tough as well. i took her hand and looked into her eyes. how much had i missed her.
aphreal told me she would bring me to her new place, where we could stay in. i figured that the machines were not that bad after all. right after the machines took control of the city there were constructions going on, and a few buildings were even complete. i guess the machines far excel human beings in things like this.
"first, your body structure has to be thoroughly examined," aphreal told me. "a small chip will be implanted at the back of your head, just for security measures, and it might be rejected by your body. i already got one." fair enough. i sneaked a peek at the back of her head, and there wasn't even a scar. maybe it was covered by the hair. i asked her why we could enjoy such hospitality by the invaders, and i learnt that it was because the two of us had been cooperative, unlike most others who cursed the machines and still believed that man was still the rightful owners of this planet.
i relaxed on a reclined chair, and my hands were cuffed. i was slightly surprised, but aphreal smiled at me, and i guessed it was ok. i felt some soft prickling at the back of my head. suddenly, a sharp, long, cold tube was inserted into my head, and i felt a sharp pain as it pierced through the back of my skull. i jolted, and tried to remove the tube, but my hands were bound.
"everything is going to be fine..."
i woke up. finally. back to reality. back to reality from a stupid dream, i hope.
recently the mosquitoes in my room seemed to have greatly increased in number, or maybe they were just sucking my blood more. sometimes if i just swung my arm i might hit one. being the easily frustrated sort i felt uncomfortable just being in the same room with these minute buzzing creatures, furthermore if their bites itched.
who's ideas was mosquitoes anyway. these irritating pests do not help in pollinating flowers, nor do they play an important part in the food chain. and they suck your blood for goodness sake.
so i went down to the store and bought every can of pesticide i can find. i'd rather suffocate to death then stay alive itching. i sprayed every corner of my room, every crevice that these foul creatures might hide in.
perhaps it was all the fumes i have been inhaling, i felt very tired. i went to brush my teeth like i always do before i go to bed. when i came back from the toilet i was surprised to see a dark figure sitting next to my bed. i was aware that it might be my hallucination, so i told him right away, hoping that my declaration of reality may help me dispel him.
unfortunately it didn't work. in fact, he started speaking. "you have been killing too many of my brethren, 13,987 of them, to be exact." i was tired enough, and this strange guy started telling me strange things. "in the past hour alone, you have killed 174 mosquitoes. that'll be a new record."
ah mosquitoes. so who is this guy? perhaps he might have an explanation why there were so many of them in my room. maybe he'd know why there were mosquitoes, such a vile little pest that is always up to no good.
suddenly this guy lunged at me, and sank his fangs into my neck. instantly i felt my vitality waning, and i was unable to push him away. in a few minutes i was sucked dry, bringing a sour ending to my futile life.
the next day, as my dry corpse laid on my bedroom floor, a little noise was heard. the attention is brought to my sunken eyes, where a small crack appears on my eyeball. out of the crack a dozen mosquitoes fly out of the body, out of the room, in search of the next lonely victim.
after many years of research and countless failures, we have finally created a machine that utilizes captured neutrinos and can map out the whole universe and scan for other signs of life and make contact with them. my lifelong dream was finally going to be complete, and we would know finally if there is anyone other than us.
there were protests from religious groups and a minority whom believed we were trying to gain authority and economy advantage over even more countries, although our research was purely the result of the curiosity of us scientists and the funding were from private companies. there were also few absurd groups whom believed the second coming was approaching that their "heavenly father" (aliens) would come back to earth and bring them "home". people whom claimed to have be abducted by aliens pleaded us not to continue with the launch, afraid that our actions might be offensive to the other beings.
the launch went ahead nonetheless. as the satellite rose into the clouds i wondered what we would find. perhaps we would make contact and establish a peaceful relationship with relatively nearby beings. or maybe there will be intergalactic wars with similar humanoid beings who decide that their own planet isn't enough.
when the scan was complete, we received the most accurate map ever drawn out of the universe. every single planet was mapped out to astonishing detail, from the most massive star to the smallest moon. eerie landscapes ever unseen appeared on our screens and mesmerizing patterns formed on the surfaces and new elements and materials were discovered. people were amazed and looked through the maps in awe spending days and nights at our website that only showed a small portion of the information we have.
after the initial amazement subsided, we looked for traces of water and life. there were planets that had environments exactly like ours, but no carbon-based life forms developed. there were planets that rained and had a similar water cycle, but no life, just rocks and water and air. there were no life-forms based on other elements either, the types we thought were theoretically possible never really appeared on the other planets, just in our dreams and imaginations. perhaps there might be intelligent beings even further out, or just behind the edge of our universe, but what we saw there was just nothingness, no stars, no planets, and the space just fades off forever.
so all the while the people who claimed abduction by aliens were lying, perhaps dreaming or simply nuts. people had always been scaring themselves, getting stressed over photos of cigarette smoke, water drops, exhaled breath, film glitches, light leaks, developing drips and even camera straps that fell over the lens, so why not get scared about aliens too?
after a while i thought about it, and i got depressed. we are alone in this vast, endless universe, and there is no one else. we live, we die, nothing happens. we are pointless.
unaware of the uneasy surroundings i walked on towards the end of the jetty. i breathed in deeply and filled my lungs with the tasteless air, reminding myself that this action was supposed to be relaxing and anti-depressing, perhaps bring a tinge of tranquility as well.
no it wasn't. for at this moment the great sea monster rose from the shallow depths, bring a large amount of water towards me, nearly throwing me off my balance. with some curiosity he looked at me for a while, wondering why its meals seemed to become smaller in portion. then he prepared to swallow me up in a single bite, bringing a sad, tragic end to my tiring life.
time slowed down, just like always. then i got those silly flashbacks, remembering how i always played alone as a stupid ugly kid, how i always had to stand in the corner of the class just because i didn't do as well as most people in class. fucking teacher. i remembered how i got turned down at every attempt to ask a girl out, because i wore specs and a buttoned checkered shirt to school. fucking girls.
as my flashbacks became more recent i saw my fat, lazy, ugly, smelly wife whom i was match made to. and my shrewd mother-in-law, who pretend to be kind and friendly when i wasn't around. but i shan't curse them, for they are family. then i saw my last birthday, perhaps the last enjoyable experience i had, when i got retrenched and got paid a large amount of money as compensation. then i bought a few movie tickets and went for a movie marathon myself. it was still a fairly happy moment.
then i remembered one of the movies i watched that day, which was a horror movie, and screaming girls and their tough-on-the-outside boyfriends got chased by a scary looking subject that intended on inflicting pain and suffering on them. i noticed that they like to scream for a few seconds before taking off or getting killed. just at the moment they stop screaming and was about to retaliate or escape the axe splits their head in a half. if it was me i'd shut up and act immediately.
the monster's stinking breath brought me back from my wandering thoughts. his mouth was already over my head, and i thought i would run, instead of getting frozen in my tracks screaming like those idiots in the movies. but i was shocked at how much closer he seemed to be from the last split second. with a swift motion he lifted me up by my head and slammed my body on the ground, and broke my neck. i realized i did not even make a little noise. as i got chewed up into soft, easily swallowed pieces, i heard some cheering from the relieved islanders who fed me to the sea monster just because they thought it would make the sea calmer. if i were him i'd eat them up as well.
Humans are not the end result of predictable evolutionary progress, but rather a fortuitous cosmic afterthought, a tiny little twig on the enormously arborescent bush of life, which if replanted from seed, would... not grow this twig again.
Diving can be extremely dangerous, despite the presence of safety personnel scouting for safety violations. Even knowledgeable and trained divers can make colossally stupid decisions, and as the following tale illustrates, there isn't always room for a second chance.
First, start with a hook. Not just any old hook, but a large hook attached to an oil rig crane. These cranes are used to lift items heavy items off cargo ship decks. Normally, a crane is equipped with a safety hook with a metal latch that secures the hooked item. Safety hooks are necessary when working offshore, as even light seas can bounce items right off the hook. Very dangerous, particularly to whatever lies beneath the falling mass.
The absence of a safety hook was the first error.
Second, consider a capped oil well. When an oil rig digs a new hole in an oilfield, oil is not necessarily pumped from the hole right away. Sometimes the well is sealed with a reinforced steel cap. Over time, the oil and the sea floor settle and create a vacuum against the cap. The pressure can be small or large; there's no way to tell in advance. So when a cap is pulled, it's standard procedure to make sure there is no one in the water.
Enter our contestant. He was working on a capped oil well.
His job was to attach the crane hook to the cap, which was approximately one hundred feet deep. Down he goes, hooks the cap, up he comes, and out of the water. Simple enough, but the hook is missing its safety latch.
The crane starts pulling -- and whoops! The hook slides off the cap.
So the diver goes back down and hooks the cap again. It's then that he has a bright idea. Just in case the hook slips again, he decides to stay close by, thirty feet up on an underwater rope ladder.
Not vacating the water was the second error.
The diver tells the topside crew to give it a pull. They tell him to come up. He convinces them that he's perfectly safe, and well away from the cap. The folks topside don't want to waste time arguing, so the crane guy goes for it. This time, the crane pulled the cap off the well.
This particular cap was on a sixteen-inch diameter pipe, sized to move a lot of fluid very quickly. It had been capped and settling for several months. Oh, and did I mention that the diver didn't even secure himself to the ladder with a safety latch? You guessed it. The suction from the pipe sucked the very surprised diver right off the ladder and into the pipe.
But a diver does not fit into a sixteen-inch pipe.
They figure the pressure sucked in one leg, while the other one stuck straight up. The suction was so powerful that events didn't end with his body wedged in that position. The combined forces of suction and water pressure were sufficient to essentially suck him right out of his suit, from the inside out.
The only item recovered was his steel helmet, which was bigger than the pipe, and his tank of emergency air.
through my windows i have the view of a traffic junction. it gets busy in the day, but at night only a few cars pass by.
so i am an insomniac. i thought i might finally be able to fall asleep tonight when a car screeched to a halt, blasting its horn for a few seconds. figuring that it would be futile to try self-hypnotism or counting sheep again for another three hours i looked out of the window to see what would happen.
i saw that two cars almost hit each other, and one of the driver had already stepped out of his car to confront the other. he bent down outside the other car and tapped on the window for the driver to come out. he appeared to be just as angry, although i didn't see any reason to be because they didn't crash into each other. i watched on though, hoping that perhaps something might interest me.
to my surprise they started pushing and shoving, then punches flew. i thought they might quarrel and push around for a bit first, but they started fighting so soon. in the middle of a traffic junction. then one of the driver fell to the ground, after being hit in the face a few times. the other guy who was slightly bigger in size backed off for a while, and i thought the fight ended. he walked back to his car but instead of going back into the driver's seat he went to the boot and took out a spanner. then he went back to his opponent and hit him on the head a few more times. the fallen guy tried to block off the attacks but unfortunately the spanner was a pretty heavy one and it just broke more of his bones. after a while he stopped moving. the other guy then went back to his car and drove off.
i decided to go and take a closer look. obviously there was little i could do to ease the downed guy's pain. he would probably just die soon, but then something caught my eye. in the back seat was a young child about five years old, who had just witnessed everything like i did. he wasn't crying or sobbing or anything, just looking at me. startled, i ran away, back to bed and covered the blanket up to my neck, trying even harder to sleep then before.
The river Styx runs through this level of Hell, and in it are punished the wrathful and the gloomy. The former are forever lashing out at each other in anger, furious and naked, tearing each other piecemeal with their teeth. The latter are gurgling in the black mud, slothful and sullen, withdrawn from the world. Their lamentations bubble to the surface as they try to repeat a doleful hymn, though with unbroken words they cannot say it. Because you lived a cruel, vindictive and hateful life, you meet your fate in the Styx.
The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Fifth Level of Hell! Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
i was feeling incredibly fucked up. that probably means i can't even decide on an emotion which im feeling. my back was itchy but no matter how i scratched i can't seem to find the exact spot of the itch. my toes feel like they were sticking together even though i wore toe socks. that didn't bother me as much as my boxers going up on one thigh and no matter how i pulled and shook my leg it wouldn't come down. it made me really frustrated. i was feeling incredibly fucked up, plus a bit more frustrated.
walking on this street i have never been, but i seemed to know the way. i arrived at a door numbered 885. i went in and walked down a flight of steps and i saw a small gathering of various people. their backs were facing me but even so i could not see any reason they might be gathered together. one was dressed in loose jeans and a t-shirt, and had his hair messed up. another just beside him wore all black and had a few metal spikes here and a leather strap there. i could see he had really fair skin and wore some dark make-up. guys should not wear any damned make-up. and there's this other gothic looking guy who wasn't just a poseur gothic, he was a real mad person who really sucked other people's blood and kill them. then there's this neat looking guy who wore specs and was smart and snotty and was elbowed to the back by the rest of the group. then there's this bastard who looked popular like those who always did well and was in the rugby team and is a student councilor and did all the stupid stuff and kept talking to the girls that i couldn't stand him.
all of them turned and looked as me as if they were expecting me. to my dismay they all had the same faces as me. they made me sit at the end of the table and treated me like i was some guy who sat at the end of the meeting table. i looked down at the piece of paper in front of me.
Instructions:
1. Choose your personality.
i looked around the table and looked at the piece of paper again. then i took out a gun from the drawer and shot myself in the forehead. just before the spiraling bullet churned the parts of my brain like tofu in a juicer i wondered if i should have shot all the other me's before myself.
in the middle of the night i awoke to find the silhouette of a person standing next to my bed. he smelt terrible. i sat up immediately and he backed off a few steps. when i saw his face i realized that he greatly resembled me, except for his cleft lip. after some bewildered silence, he spoke, in the exact same voice as mine.
"i am your siamese twin brother. after we were born we were separated, " i looked down on my arm and his arm, which both had the same scar i had grown up to be so familiar with i didn't question. "in our superstitious village, the people were convinced that one of us were evil, so i was the unfortunate one on the left and they tried to kill me. i was brought up by a hermit in the woods, cursing my fate to this day."
i didn't liked the way he stank, but nevertheless i grew up alone so i was a little bit happy to find that i had a brother. however he declared that he didn't wanted to just tell me this. he wanted to kill me and take my place, for he was greatly jealous of the life i had compared to his. unfortunately he drew out a dagger and tried to stab me in the heart.
my reactions were slow due to my recently awoken grogginess and couldn't dodge in time, and used my arm to block his attacks instead. having been properly nourished since birth i could overpower him easily. i seized the dagger from him and used it to puncture his skinny body with numerous holes. i am greatly angered by his attempt to kill his brother even though it was not my fault that he had such ill fate. therefore i did not kill him immediately. i tied him upside down so that oxygen flows to his head despite great blood loss, such that i could torture him until his last breath, which wasn't for at least a few hours.
some time later i developed a rash on my right arm, where my twin brother used to be attached to me. then it dawned on me, that if my scar was on my right hand, it would have meant that i was the one on the left, the evil one.
they slit our throats like we were flowers
and our milk has been devoured.
when u want it
it goes away too fast.
times u hate it
it always seem to last
but just remember
when you think you're free
the crack inside your fucking heart is me
i wish i could sleep but i can't lay on my back
because there's a knife for everyday that i've known you
lie to me, cry to me, give to me
i would
lie with me, die with me, give to me
i would
. . . that soul imprisoned in a body, itself a prisoner
within that dungeon, and from out that double incarnation
of flesh and stone, the perpetual plaint of a soul in agony
....
--Victor Hugo, Notre Dame de Paris
im leaving soon. i got nothing much to say. which may be a good thing, cos this is a depressing blog. or maybe i don't bother already, because there's so many things in my mind but i can't get them out.
its strange. im not even sure how i feel. maybe i should get into an accident and get amnesia. its not that bad forgetting everything.
im only afraid that i will try to find out what happened, because i cannot remember that i wanted to forget in the first place, then i'll remember everything again. its always like that.
You are the Marquis Da Sade. Even stripped of exaggerations, Your real life was as dramatic and as tragic as a cautionary tale. Born to an ancient and noble house, you were married (against your wishes) to a middle-class heiress for money, caused scandals with prostitutes and with your sister-in-law, thus enraging your mother-in-law, who had you imprisoned under a lettre de cachet for 14 years until the Revolution freed you. Amphibian, protean, charming, you became a Revolutionary, miraculously escaping the guillotine during the Terror, only to be arrested later for publishing your erotic novels. You spent your final 12 years in the insane asylum at Charenton, where you caused another scandal by directing plays using inmates and professional actors. You died there in 1814, virtually in the arms of your teenage mistress.
You are a revolutionary deviant. I applaud you.
when i close my eyes its not the same anymore. i see a blur of images, non of which i remember seeing in the daytime. it feels there's a thousand people around me, and their combined murmuring drives me to open my eyes. but there's nobody around me. the disharmony in my brains feels like im screaming out my lungs, but i know im not even opening my mouth. when i can't take it anymore i open my eyes. it becomes silent. the silence is uncomfortable, but at least its quiet for a while.
